The Snow Day Situation

On January 28th, 2014 (yesterday), Josh and I were caught in the Great Houston Icepocalypse. While Josh was forced to brave the inclement weather (freezing rain and falling temperatures) I was able to stay home due to our building being closed down. Oh. Heck. Yes.

My first task on the home front was to do a home made wintry weather window protectant application (HWWWPA). I suited up appropriately. I first tucked my grey jersey nightgown into my white fleece owl pajama pants which I in turn tucked into my Ugg boots. After securing my lower half, I worked to protect the upper regions by applying an Aggie sweatshirt, flannel shirt, yellow puffer vest, and coral scarf. This completed, I was ready to venture out.

Expert Winter Gear

Suited for the storm, I made my way across the apartment parking lot to do mechanical battle against the elements. You see, a few weeks prior, my windshield had been nicked by a rock throw up by another truck on my daily commute. In order to prevent the small nick from becoming an epic crack of doom, I set to the highly scientific method of repair Josh had instructed me on. With painstaking care, I wiped out the nick and the area around it with my Paper Towel of Science. After clearing the moisture, I applied a small square of my Turquoise Duct Tape of Power over the nick. 

Fixed.

My mission complete, I headed back across the parking lot into which all my neighbors had suddenly flooded, obviously to check their car repair skills and winter wear against my own. I was, obviously, the best prepared.

Upon reaching my warm, cozy apartment, I was flooded with a feeling of power and decided to attempt a new baking recipe for treats. I wanted desperately to make Crack. Not the drug (thought the effects are similar) but the treat. Saltine crackers coated in chocolate, toffee, and most importantly, sprinkles. My sweet baby, Casper, tried to reason with me.

"Mom, you don't have to make treats."

 "See, we already have these that your mom brought."

But I was certain these would be insufficient, so Casper settled back to watch me work. I carefully followed this excellent recipe, first introduced to me by my dealer, I mean, cousin, RC. The process went off without a hitch and in spite of Casper's doubt, I emerged victorious with flawless, delicious, and addicting Crack.

Note: in the span on one hour I have prevented and created crack.

Now feeling highly accomplished I decided to celebrate by pampering myself with a coconut hair oil treatment while I watched the brilliant film of our time, Star Trek Into Darkness.

Luxury in process.

After a few hours of pampering and cinematic bliss, I headed back into the kitchen with the intention of mystifying my husband with pizza rolls which I hoped would rival the glorious and heavenly Gumby's. While my pizza rolls were not Gumby-tastic, they were still pretty good and pleased the working man when he got home. 

Basically, I discovered the best way to use a snow day is to do everything mildly messy, embarrassing, comfort inducing, or that the internet swore to you would work without having to answer to anyone but your cat. And let's be real, he licks himself and is scared of cars and the washing machine. He has no room to judge.

Happy Snow Day Deep South! 

Highlights from Month One

I had planned to blog long before this, but I discovered that the honeymoon period is real and as a result, there is very little from the first month of marriage that is appropriate for an audience which includes family and people with whom I would like to continue to make eye contact. However, I will share a few highlights from Month One:

1. The Wedding: This blessed event in which we became Mr. and Mrs. Lucas was awesome. We laughed, we ate, we danced, we conquered. It was glorious.

2. The Honeymoon: WE WENT TO JAMAICA AND HAD SO MUCH FUN. They had pet peacocks on the resort and we were enveloped in luxury. That's basically all I can say about that...

3. Wedding Presents: We got LOTS and now we have a snazzy spreadsheet, some thank yous to write, and an absolutely darling apartment which is all put together.

4. Our First House Guest: Success! Our friend JK came in for a birthday celebration for KD and stayed with us. He didn't even have to say he was impressed for me to know that our guest bedroom with its somewhat hodgepodge decorating scheme and overflowing windowsill garden had bowled him over. Direct quote: "You two have restored my faith in married people." Money in the bank.

5. Pulling a Jess: While JK was visiting, we went out dancing and carousing for the birthday bash. On this particular evening, JK bought Josh and I THE WORST SHOT EVER. (In his defense the bartender was sketch) after downing mine, I was fairly certain that the taste would cause me to vomit, something I had no desire to do in front of my husband and close friend. Similar to the maneuver Jess pulled in New Girl where after eating a bite of contaminated fish, she wandered into the wilderness, (presumably to die alone) I began to wander away from the group. At this point JK grabbed my arm and asked, "Heather, where are you going?" to which I replied, "I don't know" and wandered off. This resulted in a spirited hunt for me through the dance hall followed by the ever comical story of That One Time Heather Pulled A Jess.

6. Our First Bible Study: Josh and I have been visiting a church in our area. As we were leaving service one Sunday, a girl and her husband walked by. Both of them were wearing Aggie Rings and the girl had on a jacket identical to one of Josh's from when he was a bible study leader in College Station. I pointed them out and asked if he new them. "Oh my gosh! I do know them!" Josh took off like a shot and I followed him as we headed over to meet his people. They were very kind and mentioned to us that they were in bible study for young married couples and invited us to visit. We did and enjoyed ourselves immensely. We got connected and are now joyfully blessed with our first bible study as married people and they are wonderful!

7. House shopping: Josh and I explored our options for living when our lease runs out in July. We found a gorgeous home for sale which we fell in love with, and it landed squarely outside our price range. Bummer. In spite of this set back, I have learned that I would make and excellent hypothetical designer and organizer.

8. Monogamy: A cross between Trouble and Candy Land with a sexy twist, this particular board game made its debut this month. It was out of control. Just to give you a tidbit, we each put on an extra five items to extend the game. One of my items was a furry Russian hat. One of Josh's choices was a stick on mustache.

9. Everyday: Basically, marriage to Josh is the bomb.com. Each day is filled with joy and love as we wake up and go to sleep with our best friend. We highly recommend it, especially if you need kitchen stuff.


That's our marvelous Month One folks!

To Celebrate

Yesterday, Josh posted an article on Facebook titled, "Let's Ban Weddings, and While We're at It, Baby Showers Too". In the article, The author talks about how the fact that some people are more excited about their actual wedding day and the "childhood fantasy of princess for a day" vs. their marriage and the respective rest of their lives frankly, disgusts her. She also goes on to express her distaste in opulent baby showers rather than opulent graduation parties and her general disappointment in how different life events are cerebrated as compared to others.

Here are my two cents:

In 10 days (yep, I am doing a NASA style countdown), Josh and I will make a commitment to each other for as long as we both shall live before God, our family, and friends. After the ceremony, we will throw a shindig for 165 with dinner, dancing, and drinks to celebrate. Yes, I will be wearing a great dress(naturally), and yes, I will be carrying flowers (obviously). However, recognizing the gravity of the situation and recognizing, as Christians, that our goal for this marriage is to glorify God, Josh and I have chosen as our first act as husband and wife to serve communion.

We chose to do this for two reasons: first, the actual act of serving. By serving our guests, we are making a statement that we intend to serve others in our relationship and we will work to be selfless servants to each other and those around us, following the example of Christ. Secondly, we wanted to take this opportunity, when we have a captive audience of 165, to be certain that the gospel was shared. Not all our friends and family know Jesus (surprise!) and since we believe that only in Him can the people we care about find salvation, we were keen on having the Lord be a focal point.

So yes, we are going to have a fabulous party to celebrate our marriage, but it will be set as the background to the ceremony itself, the promises we make, the start of our lives, and the provision of our God. Because when the food is gone, the decorations are removed, the flowers have found a new home, and I'm wearing cutoffs in Jamaica, Josh and I will still be married and we will be held accountable to the words we have said.

I tend to agree that the way events are celebrated is skewed, but, as believers and followers of Christ, we have assurance of His provision in the hard things and can therefore appreciate celebrations as what they are: simply celebrations of REALLY IMPORTANT MILESTONES which were ACCOMPLISHED IN CHRIST. (note the emphasis) Celebrations become skewed when we begin to celebrate simply for the entertainment value, however, if we remind ourselves of what exactly it is that we are celebrating, and who we have to thank for our success, celebrations, become more joyful, more meaningful, and more realistic.

Therefor, I plan to "party like its your birthday" at our wedding. I plan to dance until the sun comes up when I get my acceptance letter into my next set of schooling. I plan to toast success when my future classmates and I (finally) graduate. I plan to cry big ugly tears of joy at a baby shower when a few years down the line Josh and I start a family. I plan to do all of these things with the knowledge that I have not accomplished them alone, but with family, friends, and the eternal and necessary help of my savior. That it what makes a celebration a PARTY.

Mary Knew, Okay!

As Josh and I were riding in the car last night, he accidentally poked at the crazy. The song, "Mary Did You Know" had come on the radio and Josh casually mentioned that one of his best friends, K, didn't particularly like this song, probably because it was trendy.

"That's fair. It is trendy, and dumb. Obviously Mary knew."

Josh looked at me somewhat surprised, so I went on.

"I mean, in Luke 1:32-33 the angel, Gabriel, says explicitly to Mary that her son, Jesus, "Will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father, David, and he will reign over the House of Jacob forever; his kingdom will never end." Clearly, Mary knew the answer to all the silly questions in the song. I have no idea why the songwriter feels the need to belittle Mary's intelligence to make a point about the birth of Christ."

"Heather, I think the writer is using a rhetorical device to proclaim the good news in song."

"I get that, I just don't see why he had to make Mary look dumb in the process. That's all I'm saying."

"Whoa, Mac! Be careful, your crazy is showing. I feel like maybe you have some other association with this song that makes you hate it so much?"

"I mean, once in my childhood, I heard it sung by someone I didn't really like in church, but I really think most of my aggression towards the song comes from the lyrics."

"Okay..."

I recognize that I may have had a slightly less than reasonable response to this song, and that the author was probably just trying to make a point about Jesus, but if you happen to be looking for Christmas jams that use the questioning and rhetorical question device to play this Christmas season, I would recommend these two for their slightly more accurate telling of the nativity (aka not leaving out the part with Gabriel) and their lack of disrespect to Mary:

How Many Kings by Downhere:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zF952rzG3Yk

Do You Hear what I Hear? (this version by Carrie Underwood):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ad7KU9bCTAM

*drops mic and gets off soap box*

The Tree Trial

Over the course of the last two weeks, my family Christmas tree has been erected. This may sound like quite an event, and let me assure you that it is a grueling adventure filled with hard labor, high stakes, and violent emotions. ( I should also mention that the first three phases are completed by my father, as is traditional. Hence where the saying, "bringing home the Christmas Tree" originates.)

To start the process, my dad retrieves our 15 year old, false, tree from the basement, where it has lain for the past year and airs it out in the backyard. Once it has settled (and we are certain there are no nests) my father sets about the task of painstakingly replacing all the branches (approximately 24/year) which have fallen off while in storage. In this step my father begins to wonder why we still have the tree, but quietly.

Once this first phase is completed, the tree is brought inside in four pieces. These pieces are stacked together over the course of about five hours. This time is very important as two of the pieces are the exact same size and shape and must have their positions switched at least nine times during the building phase in order insure accuracy and introduce the element of heart attack danger and infuriated screaming. At this point, more questions on the legitimacy of the tree are raised, but squashed by my determined dad.

In the third phase of Christmas tree prep, we add the lights. Every year we put about 7 strands of multicolored Christmas lights around our 10 or 12 foot tree (depending on who measures and the stacking method that year, the height varies) to get the maximum light effect. Every year we test each strand and usually replace at least one bulb or complete strand. This is occasionally the phase where all common sense is called into question and cursing escalates, but perseverance wins out (you got this, Dad!).

The fourth and final phase is the decorative phase. In this phase we actually enjoy ourselves and settle into the Christmas spirit as we reminisce over memories and ornaments and usually have a glass(es) of wine. This year I was burdened with "work things" and "wedding things" and was "out of town" for the first three phases, but made certain to be home for arguably, the most important day of the decorating process to lend my help and to sacrifice Josh as tribute to the Christmas tree.

This year I procured the job of ornament unpacking and hook addition with my dad, while Josh drew the short stick and was on ladder duty with my brother. The guys did a fabulous job picking up, carrying to the top, and placing a record number of ornaments until the foliage was immersed in sparkling baubles. As we stepped back to admire our handiwork (Phase five) my father realized that the bottom strand of lights had gone out and alerted Josh to the situation.

"WHAT IS THIS, TECHNOLOGY?! What's it been, 40 years?? We've put a man on the moon, and sell pre-sliced bread, be we can't make a strand of Christmas lights that survives the loss of one bulb?? GET IT TOGETHER!"

You could say that the men in my family feel strongly about their decorations, and that they are always the best. To you, we tip our eggnog. God bless us, everyone.

Epic MacDonald Tree

No Katniss

NOTE: This is not Heather…wait, wait, wait - don’t run off so quickly.  If you have followed Heather’s blogs long enough to read this disclaimer, then you have also learned that she is a particularly curious flavor of crazy, and like watching a train wreck, you can’t help but to keep reading.  In that case, this entry is for you.  Rubberneck no longer, my friends.  Below you will find some of the juicier bits about Heather, which she may be unwilling to share, but I, as her groom-to-be, are both qualified and willing to divulge.  Enjoy.

I could make the list very long, so let me whet your appetite with a few teasers before we get to the main course.

1.     Reminiscent of her awkward phase (ask her dad to see “The Wall”), Heather still wears metal mouth gear at night, the likes of which haunt most middle schoolers’ dreams.  I can’t wait to wake up to that every morning.  Rawr.

2.       Like any woodland creature, Heather marks her den in easily identifiable ways: simply look for the piles of Kleenexes.  For our nature lovers hoping to spot the ever illusive H. Sapiens MacDonald, Heather, look for the tell-tale, fluffy piles of tissue amassed near (but not usually on) bedside tables, under pillows (saving them for later), and especially that little crack between the passenger seat and the door in my car.  In an attempt to remain PC, some may call it “nest packing.”  I fondly refer to them as her “tissue graveyards.”

3.       Until recently, our closet resembled what could most accurately be described as a “scarf nest.” Her cat Casper loved to lay in the middle, which made my getting dressed in the morning all the more inconvenient for both he and I.

Well, my salivating readers, are you ready for the big fish?  I’ll keep you waiting no longer!

4.       Heather is no Katniss.

Perhaps that last tidbit didn’t quite register.  If not, take a few minutes to read through Heather’s previous entry entitled The Peeta Potential, then keep reading here.

Whereas Heather would liken her role in our relationship to that of Katniss Everdeen , “a terrible person in all regards who is out to survive and protect her own interests,” I think a better comparison would be to Eowyn, heroine from the Lord of the Rings, shieldmaiden of Rohan, sister of Eomer, and niece of King Theoden.  Eowyn’s renown was won not by her beauty (though she was exceedingly beautiful)...

Eowyn looking fine

...not by her title (though she was born of Rohan royalty, became Rohan’s Queen, and married Gondor nobility), nor by good luck or good choice (she often found herself between a rock and a hard place, crying big, ugly tears).

Big, ugly tears

Instead, her renown was won by her love for her people that lead her to place herself in harm’s way time and time again. 

Taking care of witch kings like a boss

Heather’s character is established in a similar fashion.

Recently, I fell ill (I almost died).  I was planning on toughing it out on my own (my outlook on survival wasn’t good), because I didn’t want to be a burden (I was a baby in every regard) or make Heather stay home from work to care for me (I desperately hoped she would use a sick day to come over).  However, without my request (big, mournful eyes don’t count as an official request) and at risk to her own health, Heather volunteered to care for me. 

Heather taking one for the team

This example of selflessness and nurturing is not an isolated incident.  Time and time again, Heather lays aside her own interests to see to the needs of her friends and family.  Many of us can recall sometime in our lives when we needed help and Heather was there.  However, her loyalty and compassion go far beyond elevating my needs above her own.  She has been caught on several occasions building up my name to those who have never met me and fiercely defending my honor when it is called into question.  Walking into a room of strangers who already hold you in high regard because of the way someone else talks about you will make any man feel like a million bucks.

We are all are own biggest critics, so it is no surprise that Heather’s self-portrait is not the most flattering. However, her readers deserve to know the whole story – that Heather MacDonald loves fiercely, perseveres quietly, and serves selflessly.  Perhaps this is why she and I are such a good fit: although both of us seem to have a somewhat self-deprecating view of ourselves, we clearly see the good in each other.  We have made it our personal goals to build each other up and boast to the world about the other. 

So loyal readers, you are 100% correct: Heather MacDonald is a particularly curious flavor of crazy, but she's my crazy. Always.

-Josh

The Ears Event

After a successful Thanksgiving with delicious fried turkey, marvelous sides (including a thin layer of sweet potatoes covered in marshmallows baked into lucky charms, courtesy of yours truly), and fabulous pies (blackberry being my redeeming offering) Josh, his family, and myself were all reclining around a bonfire, soaking in the crisp evening air and good company.  Next to me, Josh's youngest cousin, J,  looked over to me and complained, "Heather, my face is getting really warm."

"Really?" I countered,"Quick, push back your hair and let me see your ears."

pushes back hair and shows ears

"Oh man...looks like the heat really got you."

"What do you mean??"

"Honey... your ears...they're curling from the heat."

grabs ears in horror

"Calm down, don't panic. I know how to fix this! Just pull your ears back by the edges and take a couple laps around the fire outside the hot area and they should cool back into a normal position. You'll just have to watch them tonight and you should probably hold them whenever you are walking to the house, just to make sure they cool the right way. You'd hate to have curly ears!"

Upon hearing my method for fixing his heat curled ears, J looked over to Josh for confirmation.

"Josh is that really how you fix them?"

"Oh yeah, buddy. It's the only way. But be careful when you're holding them. I had a friend who held his crooked and one of his ears was always a little bigger than the other. Stretching you know."

With confirmation from his cousin, J jumped into action, quickly walking around the fire resetting his ears. His dad, Josh's uncle, watched in mingled horror and amusement, then turned to Josh and I.

"It's a really good thing you two aren't planning on having kids any time soon."