The Planting Plot

This weekend, Josh and I basically bopped around on our Saturday, meaning we had plenty to do on Sunday. As we walked into HEB to do our weekly shopping (yes we do have a grocery schedule) we noticed that they were selling small fruit and vegetable plants. In that moment, my horticulture major, love of flowers, and general repressed hippie joy spewed forth in an exclamation of exaltation.

"Josh! We can grow them in pots and eat them!" I cried with wild excited eyes. Since they seemed to bring out unanticipated joy and looked to be pretty inexpensive, Josh consented to look. I think it was mixed bag on whether or not we would be purchasing until I successfully identified a strawberry plant without looking at the tag. Having impressed my husband and acted like an excited child at the grocery store, we left with an heirloom tomato and a strawberry.

This naturally meant that we needed pots to plant them in, soil, and a cage to support the tomato. We headed over to Home Depot and successfully acquired a pot and some dirt. As we were strolling through the store, attempting to determine if they had cages (no dice) we also noticed small cacti with colorful tops.

"Josh, those would be awesome on our porch!"

I got to pick two. As we were looking through the cacti, Josh noticed a hanging basket of succulents.

"Look Heather, we have that one! It would look way better in a hanging basket!"

Never one to turn down a planting opportunity, I agreed and we headed across the street to Lowe's to purchase a cage and a hanging basket. As we drove home sandwiched among our plant purchases I mentioned to Josh, that we really should have gotten some rocks to put in the bottom of our pots for drainage. Josh turned to me with a gleam in his eye and pointed out the window.

"Like those rocks?"

Lo and behold out side the window in an abandoned driveway were hundreds of white rocks.

"I don't know...should we? Is that stealing?"

"I don't think anyone would care if you got a few rocks..."

"PULL THE CAR OVER! LET'S STEAL SOME ROCKS!"

So there we are on the side of the road piling small to medium stones into our new pot as though we were robbing a bank. All shifty eyes and hurry ups. As we jumped back into the car, Josh asked me how I felt.

"I feel like a total BA! We just stole rocks without getting caught!"

So yes, our brand new tomato is planted on stolen property, and I'm sure the fruit will taste all the sweeter for it.

The Business Trip

"I hope you have fun and learn lots on your trip!"

"You'll be fine without me?"

"Well, no. The house is definitely going to descend into anarchy. By the time you get back, it will definitely look like a scene from Wallie, with wreckage and waste everywhere and Casper and I at the center watching old movies and hoarding stuff. But don't worry! I love you!"

With this exchange marking the beginning of Josh's first trip since our wedding, he was a little worried about me. So he left me a couple notes to help me get by. The first was a really sweet love note about how he would miss me:

Love.

The second was slightly more practical:

Excuse me?

What I'm sure was meant as loving advice tipped the scale on to the side of crazy. No one puts baby in a corner and no ones tells me what to do.

So here is the story of my time alone in the apartment as told in pictures, words, and transitions from my spirit animal, Benedict Cumberbatch. It'll be fun:

On the first day of Josh's absence, I slept in way past Josh's usual rising time which allows for breakfast. True story, when left to my own devices, sleep definitely trumps breakfast. After all, I only need to be somewhat awake to drive. After a day of meetings across Texas, I returned back to the apartment and set about the task of making dinner. But wait, No Josh? Looks like I won't be having meat, or a side. Not because I don't like those things, but because on my own, soup only is acceptable. Not a real meal you say? I do what I want! 

Also, while I'm plotting world destruction in my home, I openly refuse to put the roll on the spool. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

Honey badger don't care.

On day two, I really became a wild woman. After sleeping in (again), and going to meetings (what is it with politics and meetings?) I got home and decided to have my friend J over for a slumber party. In anticipation of her arrival, I went and shopped for an adventure vest and dinner makings (obviously). As I stood in HEB looking over the array of food stuffs, I realized that the world was my oyster and the pearl calling to me was fresh spicy guacamole: The Food of the Gods.

As I was making Fish Taco Fiesta and waiting for J to arrive, I turned on the TV and realized that the stars had aligned. I quickly text J, "Sweet mother of God, River Dance is on PBS." I think its pretty clear what the rest of the evening was like. Two working women eating fish Tacos and watching the Irish. Out. Of. Control.

The feet!

I don't know what I'm doing anymore!

In conclusion, the apartment may not be a nuclear wasteland, yet, but between now and Josh's return, I guarantee nothing and take no prisoners.