What to Wear: The Married Woman's Guide to Fabulous

So you're married or about to be. You look through your closet, probably as you're either packing up your possessions from your soon to be former home or packing for your honeymoon (yes, you're over packing. no, you don't have enough underwear), and suddenly, you wonder, is this right? I mean, what do married women wear? Should my choices be different? Are some things I own no longer appropriate? AM I ONLY GOING TO WEAR APRONS AND T-SHIRTS FROM NOW ON??

*SMACK*

Calm yourself. There is a fool proof, four question method to determining if your married outfit is up to snuff. It goes something like this:

1. Would YOU wear it?

Your married wardrobe is not an immediate call to abandon your style and start buying something that is weirdly foreign on your body. Frankly, the only things that will get you is quizzical looks from your spouse, an inability to recognize yourself in the mirror, and the extreme and utter terror of whatever animal you share your space with, none of these being desirable outcomes. Instead, channel your inner Tina Fey. If you feel like strolling around town in a jacket and jeans, own it! If you feel like you need to let your wild side run in a showgirl outfit, why not? Going out to an awesome event? Wear an awesome dress, because YOU are AWESOME. (chances are this is one of the reasons your spouse married you.)

Because you're married and why not?

Because you're cool.

Because you're fab.

2. Is your wardrobe honoring to your husband?

True life, I definitely took some things to Plato's Closet when I got married, because lets be real, I'm not 18, a freshman in college, or trying to get some free enchiladas next Friday. This isn't to say that you aren't hot, mildly crazy, or that you won't be getting free enchiladas next Friday (date night!) but it is to say that you already caught him so your ahem, "assets" can be saved for a different medium*. An excellent example of honoring beauty can be found in Kate Middleton aka Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge. EVERYTHING SHE WEARS IS GORGEOUS. Period. However, she is also very classy and her husband, her family, and the nation she will eventually help lead, don't feel like she gives them a bad name.

General Awesomeness

3. Is your outfit doing it for your husband?

If you've made it to this step, you've established that your ensemble is emblematic of your personality, and that it honors your man, but real talk, is is doing anything for him? I mean, when you walked out to breakfast did his jaw drop? Did he check you out? Did he chivalrously** offer to meet up on your lunch break? For this effect we look to Amanda Abbington, Martin Freeman's wife. She does what she wants, she's hot, she's classy, and he digs it. Get. It. Girl.

Rawr.

Yeah, he's showing off.

"We're only here as long as we have to be!"

4. Am I able to confidently represent Jesus Christ while I'm wearing this outfit?

Really, this is the glue for the whole exercise. Let me break it down:

First, as a Christian, I find my identity in Christ. Not Josh, but Christ. In 1 Peter 2:9 we are told that:

 "But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light." 

If this is our identity in Christ, then shouldn't my clothes be reflective of an heir to Heaven? Shouldn't they display the personality of someone who is richly blessed and extremely grateful, someone who was called out from darkness and given gifts to use for His kingdom? This probably means that I don't need to wear T-shirts which brand me with my sins, like greed and sexual immorality, but that tasteful patterns or pictures of the Grumpy Cat are probably okay.

Totally fine.

Second, as a Christian wife, I am called to honor my husband. 1 Peter 3:5 states that,

"For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands"

According to this scripture, the best way to adorn myself is with respect to Josh and to that end, I seek to present myself in such a way that his honor is not called into question by my fashion choices. So no, I probably don't want to rock that sheer black bodysuit made only of lace and strategically placed ribbon trim out to a company party. My classic grey dress with a reasonable neckline is probably a better option.

Definitely honoring, but hot.

Finally, in being married to Josh, we are called together to enjoy each other. Proverbs 5:18-19 leaves little up for debate in stating,

"Let your fountain be blessed, And rejoice in the wife of your youth.  As a loving hind and a graceful doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times ; Be exhilarated always with her love."


I can certainly take that command! Good thing I saved that black bodysuit I mentioned before for our bedroom.

Obviously me.

Moral of the story, to dress effectively as a wife, you should definitely aim for a combination of Tina, Kate, and Amanda, but in order to do it well, you absolutely must be respecting the Lord, and yourself as his prized creation.

"Now therefore, if you will indeed obey my voice and keep my covenant, you shall be my treasured possession among all peoples, for all the earth is mine"
-Exodus  19:5










* Stars for Sex